| What You Really Want: Feeling States Recently, I sat down with a piece of paper and pen, determined to
write my goals in a coherent fashion once and for all. I had been experiencing
confusion about my direction and I needed to make a road map, I told myself, and
stick to it. I pulled up memories of what I had wanted to achieve at various times in my
life, even if I doubted their relevance today.
But something funny happened. Even though each goal was a worthy--sometimes cherished--
endeavor, each time I wrote one down a strong sense of doubt came over me. Doubt not that
I could achieve it, but whether I really wanted to achieve it. I felt
overtaken by confusion: hadn't I always wanted this goal, or that goal? Why the doubt?
What did it mean?
I am not alone in this puzzling phenomena, as my work has brought to me many capable
people who have struggled with the same thing. Just how can one reach a goal s/he has
mixed feelings about achieving? What is one supposed to focus on if unsure about where
s/he should be going?
Perhaps the answer lies not in tossing the goals out or waiting for new ones, but in
looking deeper into the true appeal of your goals. The "why" of your goals. If
you don't think you have any goals now, just revisit past goals and look deeper there.
For instance: Just why did you want to run that marathon anyway? Was it simply to cross
the tape after 26 miles, or was it for a feeling you believed it would give you? What
is that feeling? Be specific. Describe its physical characteristics (i.e. how that
feeling state makes you breathe, stand, what you see, hear, what your body feels like,
etc.)
How about that earnings goal, or home improvement project? What feelings and sensations
are attached to the attainment of each of those goals? Do this 'thought exercize' a few
times with each of your goals--- even if you aren't sure if the goals are important to you
anymore.
If you are like myself and countless others, by doing this you can find a renewed sense
of vigor surrounding what was once swirling doubt. Often the goals themselves will seem
less daunting once you give yourself the gift of previewing the "achievement"
feelings associated with them. Often a side benefit is the emergence of other ways
you can obtain that same feeling state: A.K.A. new goals. Either way, you win the battle
with uncertainty and gain in an empowered sense of direction. Practice this frequently and
you can win your wildest dreams.
But don't take my word for it, try it yourself and see.
|
Elizabeth Mullen
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